Is success the worst teacher?

When a junior team loses on a Saturday morning, there’s usually plenty to talk about. What went wrong? What could we have done differently? What should we work on at training?

When the same team wins 5–0, it’s quite easy to say “well played” and head home.

I was listening to the Champions League build-up on BBC Radio 5 when Kasper Schmeichel said, “Success is the worst teacher.” It made me think about how differently we look at a game depending on the score, and what we might miss when the kids win.

What did the score tell us?

Imagine a young defender gets the ball near their own goal. They look up, spot a teammate and try to pass it to them. The pass is underhit, the other team gets there first and scores.

Later, another defender clears the ball upfield without looking. It bounces over an opponent, lands at the feet of a teammate and ends up in the back of the net.

It’s easy to see which moment gets the cheer. But what would you want each player to do the next time they get the ball?

I’d want to know what the first defender saw. If the teammate was free and the pass just needed a bit more pace, I’d be happy to see them try it again. I’d be just as interested in what the second defender saw. Were they under pressure and did they need to clear it? Or did they have time to look up and pick a pass?

You can learn something from both moments. The score tells you how they ended. Asking the players what they saw helps you understand how they got there.

Ask the same question after a win

One question I like after a match, whatever the result, is “What did you do today that you’d like to do again next week?”

A child might tell you they finally had a go with their weaker foot. Or that they started looking up before the ball came and suddenly had more time to decide what to do with it. You might have spent the whole game watching the ball and missed that completely.

And if they’ve just won and want to celebrate with their mates, let them. There’s no need to turn the car ride home into a review. Coaches can pick up the conversation at the next session, when the children have a chance to try things again.

What I want children to take from a game

For me, this is part of Growing Up Through Football. PLAY is enjoying the game, and winning can be a big part of that. PROGRESS is noticing what you’re getting better at, even on a day when your team loses. PREPARE is learning to think for yourself about what worked, what you’d change and what you’d have another go at.

A mistake can help a child see what to do differently. A win can help them see what’s worth doing again. Both deserve a bit of curiosity from the adults around them.

This weekend, whatever the score, see if you can spot one decision a child made for themselves. If they feel like talking about it afterwards, try asking “What did you see there?” Give them a moment to answer. They might have seen something you didn’t.